Three items East Coast grocers fail to stock

MEMO

To:                   East Coast food markets

From:               Idaho guy living in Washington, D.C. exile

Subject:  Missing items

As a recent resident to your region, it has come to my attention that certain food items essential to human life are missing from your shelves. These items are as follows:

1. Sour dough bread. Delicious, tangy. There is no substitute.
2. Tri-tip cuts of beef. No better steak for grilling low and slow.
3. Mirror Pond Pale Ale, Deschutes Brewery, Bend, Oregon. The Pacific Northwest has the best hops, barley, and water in the nation and arguably the world. Its beer reflects that.

Please take appropriate remedial actions as quickly as possible. Contact me if you have further questions or concerns.